I am not one to judge, BUT….
Ever heard anyone say that? Or make a comment and then immediately follow with “no judgement!”. Whether you are the one saying it or someone else, we all have some feelings about judgement or being judged by others.
I have had the feeling that people are judging me and it has really bothered me in the past even though I used to be quite judgmental myself (many many moons ago of course). The thing to look at isn’t how you feel when others judge you but why you judge other people. I am actually not saying judgement is a bad thing…if used properly.
There are positive and negative judgements we can have about others. Thinking someone is an amazing free spirited artist is a judgement. Thinking someone is too bold and outspoken is also a judgement. It can go either way.
We may really admire or despise characteristics in another and when those judgements arise, it is part of ourselves trying to be expressed. Its easy to look at admiring judgements and understand when we see something in someone that we strongly admire it is something what we want within ourselves. That person you know who is a go-getter or is very successful is something that you want for yourself. Admiring a talent in someone with a strong reaction (whether its positive or negative) might be a part of your own spirit wanting to express itself with confidence and freedom.
Your judgement could also be a strong negative reaction to someone who lets say seems self-centered for example. This could be part of your psyche telling you that you want to take better care of yourself. Maybe you focus on others all the time but a part of you really desires to be a able to focus on yourself. A voice inside you is saying to no longer put yourself behind others but express yourself and start to put yourself first!
It can be hard at first to see what it is that these judgements are telling you. If you see someone being really angry and it bothers you, it may be a sign you need to fuel more strength within. I recently found myself getting frustrated by someone who seemed to be manipulating me. I felt like their needs were constantly being met and I was just doing things for them. What I realized when I started to judge them for being manipulative was that I had a desire to express my needs and get the things I wanted from them. I then had the opportunity to declare what it was that I wanted and find balance within the relationship. I turned my negative feelings towards their behavior into figuring out what I really was desiring and taking action to change my behavior.
Judgement is a reflection of ourselves, our beliefs and feelings. If you can see what it is offering you— its actually a good thing! Shocking right?
So, go ahead and be your judgy self…then pause and ask “why the heck is that bugging me so badly?”.
