I watch a lot of people numbing the pain of difficult emotions in their lives. Whatever the pain, there are many ways to numb or distract from what is actually going on instead of dealing with the source.
The pain which most of us can relate to is that of the heart; breakups, sadness, arguments, the list goes on and on for ways that your heart might be hurting. Some emotions can cause so much pain that it seems impossible at times to move forward. We can also have emotions that are stirred up that we don’t even know why or where they are coming from so we turn to ways of dulling that feeling instead of taking the time to look at what is the root cause.
A lot of people turn to alcohol, food or drugs to numb their feelings. Many do this without realizing what they are doing. Just putting something in our body to change the sensation. There is stress eating, or continual snacking of unhealthy foods that maybe lift you for a moment or just make you fill full. Drinking is very common because of the relaxed feeling that it creates and illusionary sense of letting go of some feelings at the time. Generally, you just care less about what is going on when you drink but unfortunately it is a temporary fix.
There were many times in the past that I turned to wine in order to let go of some tough pain and for a short while I would feel the emotions slip away. Soon after, though, what happens is that the pain actually gets worse. You fall deeper into a low emotional state and get more depressed.
Alcohol is a depressant and so even if it feels like its helping at the beginning, in the long run it will make your pain worse and can lead to feelings of depression. The problem is that numbing any pain is just a delay in dealing with reality. So, the longer you put of dealing with what is going on, the deeper these emotions get buried and the longer it takes to resolve the feelings. You can find yourself a year (or years) later erupting with painful emotions triggered by something small in your current life. The only way to release pain is to become conscious of it and feel it; allowing it to move through you and out. This might not seem easy to do but generally that is because its not something we practice.
I too have had times of pain where I wanted to soothe it with a nice glass of red wine but realized that it was just going to make me more depressed. A few months ago, I was dealing with a relationship that had gone sour. It had ended and I wasn’t happy with how things were handled. I found that even though it wasn’t a long relationship, my feelings were still hurt and I needed to deal with it. One particular night where I really wanted to reach for wine, I decided to do a heart meditation instead. I focused on breathing into the heart area and then filling it with light. I imagined that I was clearing the area and all the hurt feelings out of my body. I did this for about 20 minutes and found afterwards that the negative energy had shifted and my desire for the wine subsided. There was still more work I had to do around the feelings that were coming up for the next few days but I managed to recognize my feelings, that I wanted to numb them and then instead do something different.
Meditation isn’t the only way to move these feelings but it is very effective. Exercising is really good at moving the energy through the body, yoga, hikes in the woods, etc. Bodywork like massage or healings are also very helpful. Or even talking to a friend or professional helps the thoughts change and then the feelings start to move as well so you can get at the core issue.
The key is being aware that there are emotions to deal with, taking the steps to do something about it and not distracting yourself or numbing the pain with things like alcohol, food, or drugs.
